Living even though we are dying

Some friends of mine have been diagnosed with cancer. It’s a serious diagnosis that takes time to come to terms with. Often there is difficult treatment to face; surgery, chemotherapy or radiotherapy. The treatment may continue over many months and there are side effects to cope with. The support of specialist nurses through organisations like McMillan and Marie Curie enables patients to be cared for at home. In a recent advert a person who was being cared for by Marie Curie nurses said, “They helped me to live even though I was dying.”

Death is the one event we must all, one day, face. Coming to terms with our mortality is important if we are to know how we should live now. Facing death makes us seek answers to vitally important questions. Is there a God? What is the meaning of life? What happens when I die? Is there life after death? If one day I must face my Maker, how should I be living? Finding the answers to these questions enables us to live even though we are dying.

The Bible tell us about the God who created all things. Our life is a gift from God and not the result of chance events. God knows each of us personally. In Psalm 139 David says, “You have searched me, O Lord, and you know me. For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother’s womb. Your eyes saw my unformed body; all the days ordained for me were written in your book before one of them came to be.” Everyone who comes to know God in the last days of their life wishes they had come to know him sooner.

The God who created us also sent his Son, Jesus, into the world to give us the gift of eternal life. Jesus said, “For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life.” Trusting in Jesus we live our lives in daily fellowship him and know that, when we die, we shall go to be with him in heaven. When I was in school, we sang a hymn which is a prayer about knowing God both in living and in dying; “God be in my head, and in my understanding; God be in my eyes, and in my looking; God be in my mouth, and in my speaking; God be in my heart, and in my thinking; God be at mine end, and at my departing.”

Being loved and accepted

A Cardiff University study has revealed an increase in the number of children and young people who are self-harming. Tragically some young people have even taken their own lives. The increase in self-harm is greatest among young girls. Some social media sites show examples of self-harming which encourage other young self-harmers to injure themselves even more seriously. One teenage girl told researchers that looking at the websites left her feeling that one small cut was “not nearly good enough.”

The desire to self-harm arises from a feeling of sadness and rejection. Many years ago, before social media, we knew a young girl who would sometimes injure herself causing her great pain. We couldn’t understand why she was doing it. A consultant psychiatrist told us that she was doing it to punish herself when people didn’t like her. Other girls in school were being very unkind to her, and were excluding her, so she didn’t like herself. She felt it was her fault that she was being treated in this way and so she inflicted pain on herself.

We all have a deep need to be loved and accepted but, in our increasingly aggressive society, we may experience rejection and even active hostility. In his ministry Jesus revealed a tender love and warm acceptance of those who had been rejected by the society of his day. He was accused of being a “friend of tax collectors and sinners.” In response he said, “Healthy people don’t need a doctor – sick people do. I have not come to call those who think they are righteous, but those who know they are sinners.”

One day Jesus was invited to the house of a Pharisee called Simon. While he was there an immoral woman came into the house and knelt at Jesus’ feet weeping. As her tears fell on his feet, she wiped them with her hair and anointed his feet with expensive perfume. Simon was appalled that Jesus would allow such a woman to touch him. Jesus said to him, “Look at this woman kneeling here. I came into your house. You did not give me any water for my feet, but she wet my feet with her tears and wiped them with her hair. You did not give me a kiss, but this woman, from the time I entered, has not stopped kissing my feet. You did not put oil on my head, but she has poured perfume on my feet. Therefore, I tell you, her many sins have been forgiven – as her great love has shown.”

The story of Jonathan Bryan

Jonathan Bryan is a remarkable 12-year old young man. When his mother, Chantal, was 37 weeks pregnant, she and her husband Christopher were involved in a car crash. Jonathan was born with cerebral palsy. Chantal and Christopher were told that it was highly unlikely that he would ever walk, talk, feed himself, or even recognise his parents. Life was soon a nonstop round of hospital visits and operations.

As his peers started to say their first words, Jonathan could only frown or grin. He was ‘locked in’ and totally unable to communicate beyond a simple ‘yes’ or a ‘no’. He attended a local special school and his mother often read stories to him. He loves The Chronicles of Narnia. One day a health worker asked Chantal whether she had tried to teach Jonathan his letters and numbers. With the help of various professionals and a huge amount of patience from Chantal, it was established that Jonathan’s eyes would be the key to him communicating. They tried various types of ‘eye gaze’ equipment and eventually settled on a Perspex spelling board. Jonathan turned out to be a highly motivated student. He learnt to recognise different letters and numbers and, using a system of colour-coded letters, he began to be able to spell out whole words.

Jonathan has taken part in television programmes and recently published a book entitled “Eye Can Write: a memoir of a child’s silent emerging.” The book was painstakingly written letter by letter. He has helped to launch a charity – Teach Us Too – which campaigns for all non-verbal children to be taught to read and write. He also writes a blog www.eyecantalk.net.

In his book Jonathan writes of his faith in Jesus Christ. When he was nine, Jonathan was in an induced coma and he describes that near-death experience in this way: “…as the time drew on I was aware that I had a choice to make. Either I could stay to meet the gardener, my saviour; or I could go back to my fragile sick body; back to my mind trapped in silence; back to the family I loved. ‘Jonathan!’ My mother’s voice called me from beyond the garden, and my decision was made. That was the hardest decision of my life, but it has also shaped my perspective ever since. While my soul longs to live in the garden, my heart is torn between my family and freedom, but with Jesus’ presence helping me here, I know I can endure my limiting body for longer. My experience in the garden has given me a zest for life.’