More people than ever before are suffering from dementia. The Alzheimer’s Society says there are now 850,000 people in the UK with dementia, including 1 in 6 people over the age of 80. 40% of people with dementia are being cared for in care homes and 60% are being cared for by family members. More than 50% of people with dementia are in the mild stages with 12% being in the severe stage. Caring for a husband or wife, or father or mother with dementia is very demanding and exhausting.
I recently read a moving letter from a Christian lady, Ann, whose husband has dementia. They have been married for more than 40 years and served as missionaries in Asia and London. Ann’s husband studied at Oxford and was an able linguist. She cared for him for 11 years and experienced sadness, isolation and stress. Ann was sad when she saw his mind go blank and him being unable to follow conversations. He was aware of his increasing memory loss and was determined to keep his mind active. Every day he would read to Ann from his library of books and they went for long walks together. But as his condition deteriorated there were fewer visitors, which led to growing isolation for them both.
The increasing demands of care brought Ann to a state of physical and emotional collapse. Then, one evening her husband said to her, “Well it’s been lovely visiting you, but I really must go back to my parents. They will have prepared a meal.” Nothing Ann said could change his mind. For him his “present” was now the past. Wonderfully Ann found a place for her husband in a Christian care home where he is cared for with respect, dignity and love. After visiting her husband Ann is able to leave knowing that he is safe and surrounded by loving carers.
Providing loving support to people with dementia and their family is so important. Just being with them affirms their value as people created in the image of God and our love for them. It’s also a great comfort to have a future hope and to know that there is life beyond dementia in a better world. God does not forget us. A hymn sung in Communion services says, “According to thy gracious word, in meek humility, this will I do, my dying Lord, I will remember thee. And when these failing lips grow dumb and mind and memory flee, when thou shalt in thy kingdom come, Jesus, remember me.”
On a recent visit to Vietnam the Duke of Cambridge was interviewed on a popular English-language talk show. He was asked about being a father to Prince George and Princess Charlotte. He said, “There’s been wonderful highs and wonderful lows. But I’ve struggled at times. The alteration from being a single, independent man to going into marriage, and then having children, is life-changing. George is a right little rascal sometimes. He keeps me on my toes, but he’s a sweet boy. And Charlotte, bearing in mind I haven’t had a sister … so having a daughter is a very different dynamic!”
Since he has had children William has worried more about the future and hopes his children will inherit a better world. He said, “When you have something or someone in your life to give the future to, I think it focuses the mind more about what you are giving them. Are you happy that you have done all you can to leave the world in a good state? People are living with an enormous amount of stuff that they don’t necessarily need. I would like George and Charlotte to grow up being a little bit more simple in their aspirations and outlook and just looking after those around them and treating others as they would like to be treated themselves.”
The Duke’s concerns are shared by many parents. What kind of world will we hand on to our children and grandchildren? How can we prepare them for the future? When he first came to the throne, King Solomon asked God for wisdom and discernment so that he would be able to rule his people well. Some of the wisdom God gave him related to family life. Solomon knew the importance of teaching his children God’s truths and being an example to them.
The things Solomon taught his children provide a sure guide for the Duke of Cambridge and all parents. Solomon wrote, “My child, never forget the things I have taught you. Store my commands in your heart. If you do this, you will live many years, and your life will be satisfying. Never let loyalty and kindness leave you! Tie them around your neck as a reminder. Write them deep within your heart. Then you will find favour with both God and people, and you will earn a good reputation. Trust in the Lord with all your heart; do not depend on your own understanding. Seek his will in all you do, and he will show you which path to take.”
Amazing Grace is one of the best-known Christian hymns. It was written by John Newton and is a testimony of his own experience of God’s grace. John’s father was the captain of a merchant ship and, when he was just 11 years old, John made his first sea voyage with his father. His mother was a Christian and prayed that John would come to know Jesus as his Saviour. She died when John was still a child.
When he was 19 years old, John was forced into serving on a man-of-war ship. He found the conditions on board intolerable. He deserted, but was recaptured and publicly flogged. Later he volunteered to serve on a slave ship sailing to Sierra Leone, in West Africa. There he sank even deeper into degradation when he became the servant of a slave trader and was brutally abused. When he was 23 years old he was rescued by a friend of his father. He became the captain of his own ship and was involved in the slave trade.
On 10 March 1748 John’s ship encountered a severe storm off the coast of Donegal and almost sank. John woke in the middle of the night and, realising that the ship was filled with water, called out to God. He promised that if God would spare his life he would spend the rest of his life serving God. Amazingly the cargo shifted and sealed the hole in the ship which drifted to safety. John knew that God had heard his prayer and saved his life. Later he became an Anglican minister and collaborated with William Wilberforce in seeking the abolition of the slave trade.
John never stopped being amazed at God’s grace to him. He had lived a very wicked life, but God had not treated him as he deserved. God had watched over him and had saved “a wretch” like him. He was amazed that Jesus came not to call righteous people but sinners, like him, to repentance. He knew that God would always be with him and had given him a certain hope for the future. “Thro’ many dangers, toils and snares, I have already come; ’Tis grace has brought me safe thus far, and grace will lead me home. The Lord has promised good to me, his word my hope secures; He will my shield and portion be, as long as life endures. Yes, when this flesh and heart shall fail, and mortal life shall cease; I shall possess, within the veil, a life of joy and peace.”
The life insurance company Scottish Widows has created a new television advert, its first for 6 years. It pictures a young widow followed by a range of people at different stages in life. It begins with a question, “What is your definition of happiness?” It offers the answer, “A clear horizon, nothing to worry about.” The advert conveys a general sense of well being and security as people realise that if they plan for tomorrow they can live more today. The strap line is, “Life feels better when you have a plan.”
It is good to think about the future and not just to live in the present. It can be tempting to avoid thinking about the future. The decline of the Christian church in our multi-cultural society has led to confusion and uncertainty about the future. We live in a secular society in which our horizons are very much in this world, and the various crises we are facing give little reason for optimism. We need something more than a pension or life insurance policy.
The apostle Paul experienced a great change in his life. In his early life he was committed to doing everything possible to oppose Jesus Christ and those who believed in him as their Saviour and Lord. He energetically persecuted Christians. Many were put in prison and some were executed. Then one day, when he was travelling to Damascus to seek out and arrest Christians, he came face to face with the living Jesus and became a Christian. Near the end of his life he wrote, “For I know the one in whom I trust, and I am sure that he is able to guard what I have entrusted to him until the day of his return.”
Paul committed his life and his future to Jesus Christ. It transformed him and gave his whole life meaning and significance. He was also confident about life in the world to come. Jesus Christ was the link between his present life in this world and his future life in heaven. His testimony was “For me, living is for Christ, and dying is even better.” Experiencing God’s love in Jesus gives us true happiness and security – “a clear horizon, nothing to worry about.” Then, like Paul, we can say, “I myself no longer live, but Christ lives in me. So I live my life in this earthly body by trusting in the Son of God, who loved me and gave himself for me.”