Living even though we are dying

Some friends of mine have been diagnosed with cancer. It’s a serious diagnosis that takes time to come to terms with. Often there is difficult treatment to face; surgery, chemotherapy or radiotherapy. The treatment may continue over many months and there are side effects to cope with. The support of specialist nurses through organisations like McMillan and Marie Curie enables patients to be cared for at home. In a recent advert a person who was being cared for by Marie Curie nurses said, “They helped me to live even though I was dying.”

Death is the one event we must all, one day, face. Coming to terms with our mortality is important if we are to know how we should live now. Facing death makes us seek answers to vitally important questions. Is there a God? What is the meaning of life? What happens when I die? Is there life after death? If one day I must face my Maker, how should I be living? Finding the answers to these questions enables us to live even though we are dying.

The Bible tell us about the God who created all things. Our life is a gift from God and not the result of chance events. God knows each of us personally. In Psalm 139 David says, “You have searched me, O Lord, and you know me. For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother’s womb. Your eyes saw my unformed body; all the days ordained for me were written in your book before one of them came to be.” Everyone who comes to know God in the last days of their life wishes they had come to know him sooner.

The God who created us also sent his Son, Jesus, into the world to give us the gift of eternal life. Jesus said, “For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life.” Trusting in Jesus we live our lives in daily fellowship him and know that, when we die, we shall go to be with him in heaven. When I was in school, we sang a hymn which is a prayer about knowing God both in living and in dying; “God be in my head, and in my understanding; God be in my eyes, and in my looking; God be in my mouth, and in my speaking; God be in my heart, and in my thinking; God be at mine end, and at my departing.”

If I die, will you raise my son?

Tricia Somers didn’t have an easy life. Both her parents died from cancer and she suffered domestic violence, as a result of which she moved to Harrisburg, Pennsylvania to make a fresh start. In 2013, when Tricia was 43 years old, she was diagnosed with a rare form of liver cancer. She knew her situation was serious and, while she was undergoing chemotherapy treatment, had a heavy burden on her heart; who would look after her 8-year-old son, Wesley, after she died? She prayed to God, asking him to help and guide her.

One day in March 2014, when Tricia was having diagnostic tests, oncology nurse Tricia Seaman was assigned to care for her. The two women immediately hit it off and Tricia Somers shared with her nurse her fears and concerns for Wesley. Although Tricia Seaman was not assigned to care for Tricia again during her 10-days at the hospital, she often popped in to see her. On the day before Tricia Somers was discharged, she told Tricia Seaman the cancer had spread and she only had a short time to live. Then she asked her, “If I die, will you raise my son?”

It was a big decision but, after talking and praying, Tricia Seaman and her husband, Dan, agreed to take care of Wesley when Tricia died. They already had 3 teenage daughters and a younger son. They had wanted another child, but it hadn’t been possible. When Tricia Somers’ health deteriorated, Tricia Seaman and Dan invited her and Wesley to move in with them and their children. Tricia Seaman cared for Tricia during the last 5 months of her life until she died in December 2014. Tricia Somers said they were the best 5 months of her life and during that time Wesley got to know his new family. Tricia Seaman said, “God had this planned perfectly, there was a reason I was Tricia’s nurse. I feel so blessed to have known her and now to have the privilege of raising her son.”

We all face issues in life that are too big for us to handle. At such times we, too, can pray to God. He hears our prayers and answers them, as he answered the prayers of Tricia Somers. A well-known hymn says, “What a friend we have in Jesus, all our sins and griefs to bear! What a privilege to carry everything to God in prayer! O what peace we often forfeit, O what needless pain we bear, all because we do not carry everything to God in prayer!